I feel a loss— But loss sounds a lot like lack. Lack of security Lack of confidence in my identity And lack of consistent thinking, Because I am losing a sense of self By searching for belonging in someone else. Loss sounds a lot like help. I want someone or something to help me find… Continue reading Loss
Tag: writing
Misscommunication
When I am around you, I feel lost. Maybe it’s because of the thoughts I have That drown out what is real, And what is not-- Maybe it's my mouth replacing the air with water, Heavy in my lungs-- I'm afraid of what will come up Once I try to connect the words in… Continue reading Misscommunication
Don’t Leave Me in the Dark
Sometimes I smile out of habit. I don’t notice when it’s dishonest, Because I’m so used to convincing myself it’s true. You can fake it so much that it turns into your reality, Even when you are pretending. But sometimes pretending seems more familiar to me than reality. I continue repeating and hearing… Continue reading Don’t Leave Me in the Dark
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I need time to breathe Or to time my breaths By 1...2...3 But the counting creates a mood of apathy and emptiness Like I can’t stay awake like this— And I’ve missed the reason For methodically breathing In and out. It’s broken down for peace, Not destructive thoughts That beat up my heart,… Continue reading 1 2 3
Paper Planes
Breathing is like pen to paper—like a paper plane flying with writing hidden inside a single page— Who will get the last say? Who will find the message left behind? Maybe it will land in the water and become a boat holding all the hope an entire ocean can hold— Maybe it will go its… Continue reading Paper Planes
I’m Back
What happened to me? When did I decide to give up my soul for a copy? Copying words and phrases that match the people standing next to me— And when did I stop myself from being? I can’t think of a moment when I put my wants above someone else— So I’m reminded… Continue reading I’m Back
Messy
I am a mess. My mind stops working and my words start falling Out of my mouth like the clumsy ramblings Of a middle school girl who doesn't know How to talk to boys yet. I feel the corners of my mouth move involuntarily When I look at you and see you smile.… Continue reading Messy
Just Existing
Everyday I ask myself, "What am I doing with my life?" And sometimes... I feel fear when the words escape my mouth-- Like they are running into the unknown, Quickly being ripped away from me Without giving an answer to the emptiness I am left with. I meet a crisis everyday. I ask myself when… Continue reading Just Existing
Suffocating
This isn't what I asked for. I asked for freedom and confidence to open my hands and catch promises, But I feel crushed by a suffocating loneliness that bids me to go to bed. My eyes close and I let the darkness fall in on all sides, because I realize I am afraid of myself. I… Continue reading Suffocating
The Lack of
I have a block in my mind that weighs the rest of my body down Until I am buried beneath the ground Blinded by my apathy and self-doubt. The block causes build up in my brain with random strains of words That mean nothing-- It only cause my nerves to stay in the past tense of… Continue reading The Lack of
