Paper Planes

Breathing is like pen to paper—like a paper plane flying with writing hidden inside a single page—

Who will get the last say?

Who will find the message left behind?

Maybe it will land in the water and become a boat holding all the hope an entire ocean can hold—

Maybe it will go its own way on a journey to a new place.

Maybe it will find me someday.


I am a mess.


My mind stops working and my words start falling

Out of my mouth like the clumsy ramblings

Of a middle school girl who doesn’t know

How to talk to boys yet.


I feel the corners of my mouth move involuntarily

When I look at you and see you smile.

Fire brushes my fingers when I touch your hair

Or hold your hand

And feel warmth creep up my body,

But I know I am holding onto borrowed time.


I am used to being the one leaving–

Jumping from state to state like a nomad

With no sense of place,

But my movement hits pause while yours hits play in a new city,

And I am met with this restless uncertainty

That settles over me as days grow shorter, nights longer,

And sleep fades away.


I don’t want you to fade, so I’ll keep my eyes open

And concentrate on the soft lines of your face

And the crooked way your mouth grins

As if you’re up to something.


I’ll trace my fingers over the parts of you

That give me warmth, comfort,

And a space to fit my body in some part of the living.


I’m going to miss walking with you while the city falls silent

Beneath old stone buildings and bell towers.


I’ll miss the ramen noodles with karaoke

And late night movies that went on for hours.


I’ll miss this span of time between the spaces of your fingers,

but I like this piece I get to have for now.


And when now turns into then,

I’ll remember the moments

When I listened to your voice in a city asleep.


Rainy Days

It’s raining and my mind

Is a blur of blue and green

And brown and black

Sitting next to you, I watch the windows reflect

The rain painting the panes,

And take your hands to dance.

I want to dance in the puddles

Until the earth stains our clothes

And covers our bodies.

I smell the freshness,

Feel the texture on my skin,

And let the coolness fall.

The rain falls.

I fall,

But you catch me.

I am a part of this world,

And a part of yours,

So let’s dance in the puddles


Are you Happy?

I have something to tell you,

but I’m not sure how to say it.

Are you happy?

I want you to be happy,

But I’m not sure what to do–

I feel like I’m tiptoeing around shattered glass,

Picking up stray pieces,

Wondering where they came from.

I want to tell you something,

But I feel like there are no words left for me to say–

For me to fix the broken things.

I don’t know you,

But I want to.

I want to wrap my arms around you,

But instead of touching you,

I want my words to be the arms

That bring you comfort.


I want to make you laugh,

And see you smile with your eyes–

Because I want you to know that I really do care,

And I am a broken person, too,

But my heart still wants the same things–

To love well, and to be loved well.

So I don’t expect much,

But I want you to know my heart is here.

It’s beating, and it may sound faint at times,

But it’s here.

I know you can’t save me,

And I can’t save you,

But all I can think to say is,

I want you to be happy.

Are you happy?