Don’t Leave Me in the Dark

Sometimes I smile out of habit.

 

I don’t notice when it’s dishonest,

Because I’m so used to convincing myself it’s true.

You can fake it so much that it turns into your reality,

Even when you are pretending.

 

But sometimes pretending seems more familiar to me than reality.

I continue repeating and hearing the sound over and over again—

Feeling the stretch across my skin—

Feeling the void of emotion—

“Please forgive me.”

 

My thoughts cry for forgiveness from this notion

That I will never be good enough to

Measure up and be the version of perfect

I want to see—

Or feel in my body.

 

Maybe perfection would give me peace,

Or maybe it would destroy me completely.

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s