Tag: music

Wise Mind

I need to choose who I spend my time with wisely.

Time spent thinking,

Reliving,

Talking—

 

I need to not waste time on the negative memories,

Thoughts,

Words,

People,

Past hurts,

Because I deserve

To enjoy the time I have on this earth,

 

I will continue the search for

My wise mind,

And I will find a new way to see

The realities and inconsistencies

I am faced with every day.

 

I will face myself and my thoughts,

And deal with the words spoken over me,

I won’t allow myself to be on constant repeat–

Closing my eyes and my mouth–

 

I need to say

What I mean when I mean to say it,

And accept the consequences as a part of existence—

 

I will find wisdom in the moments

Between now and tomorrow,

And learn to let the heavy weight drop

And let it go–

 

Let it fall down like the rain,

Let is wash over me

And leave me with peace,

Let it remind me that everything can change,

Let it fall to my feet.

People Need a Melody

I feel weight on my body,

But my mind is awake and waiting.

 

I feel hope.

Small, but it grows and makes each step lighter—

Like I’m lighting a fire

And searching for the spark that’s starts a flame—

 

I will wait.

 

I don’t want to sink into this feeling I have —

I want to bring the present to my past.

 

I’ve lived in the past long enough that it’s touched

The parts of me living in the now—

Not then, not at the end, but give me a beginning I can touch.

 

I want to feel loved.

Suffocating

This isn’t what I asked for.

I asked for freedom and confidence to open my hands and catch promises,

But I feel crushed by a suffocating loneliness that bids me to go to bed.

My eyes close and I let the darkness fall in on all sides,

because I realize I am afraid of myself.

I am not content with sitting up at night, listening to music,

Writing in a bed made for one person.

There’s this empty space beside me, cold and unloving,

Reminding me of a time when it was filled.

Now I’m filled to the brim with emotions,

Holding my face in my hands,

Wishing he was here to listen.

But I am quick to forget how it felt when he listened.

He listened to speak,

So he could tell me the image he wanted my body to portray.

He pulled me into his world and eclipsed mine in a blanket of

Black and white devoid of any of the color I created.

So I trade a warm body for solitude,

And tell myself I am strong, and I can be strong alone.

Listen

Talking sounds more like listening

To bursts of thunder crackling in the distance

Filling the room with static

Until the build up in our space becomes charged with rage–

Until everything has changed–

Until our bodies become nothing but pieces of wreckage:

A chaotic explosion for the barren wasteland

Where our minds are left behind to deal with the aftermath

made by our hands.