Tag: speak

Wise Mind

I need to choose who I spend my time with wisely.

Time spent thinking,

Reliving,

Talking—

 

I need to not waste time on the negative memories,

Thoughts,

Words,

People,

Past hurts,

Because I deserve

To enjoy the time I have on this earth,

 

I will continue the search for

My wise mind,

And I will find a new way to see

The realities and inconsistencies

I am faced with every day.

 

I will face myself and my thoughts,

And deal with the words spoken over me,

I won’t allow myself to be on constant repeat–

Closing my eyes and my mouth–

 

I need to say

What I mean when I mean to say it,

And accept the consequences as a part of existence—

 

I will find wisdom in the moments

Between now and tomorrow,

And learn to let the heavy weight drop

And let it go–

 

Let it fall down like the rain,

Let is wash over me

And leave me with peace,

Let it remind me that everything can change,

Let it fall to my feet.

I’m Back

What happened to me?

 

When did I decide to give up my soul for a copy?

Copying words and phrases that match the people standing next to me—

And when did I stop myself from being?

 

I can’t think of a moment when I put my wants above someone else—

So I’m reminded that I’ve forgotten how to see myself.

And everything around me seems so grey

That I don’t even know if my likes are mine,

Or just another way

I’ve conformed to find commonality with others.

 

Now I’ve become the stranger. 

 

I look at my image and see pieces thrown together from

other places, other faces,

almost looking natural, 

But something doesn’t add up.

I don’t add up. Not in this way.

 

Because I’m constantly giving and taking away from who I am—

Giving into demands,

Giving up on my plans,

Taking on image after image hoping that they will fit me,

But this is not living.

 

I need to be comfortable in my own skin, so I am choosing myself this time.

I choose to listen to folky tunes blaring from my stereos, no headphones 

 

I choose the place with country food, like cornbread and tomatoes from home.

 

I choose to continue to write down my experiences and speak with honesty,

Connecting my wants and dreams with no apologies.

 

I choose to love the person I can be when no one else  is watching,

 

And I choose to break down each piece I took on in hopes that someone would accept me.

 

I choose to be.

 

I’m scared of the thought of someone seeing me, but it scares me more to lose myself completely, 

So I will stop and listen to the voice inside of me—

 

I choose me.