10 Things I’d Tell My Freshman-self

  1. Do not prop books on tree branches–they will fall and scare the heck out of the blonde girl in your American Lit class.
  2. Take two flashlights when you go caving, unless you feel like wandering through a cave in the dark for a few hours.
  3. The Christian Studies guy is a total prick.
  4. I’m sure the blonde jock seems charming and sweet, but don’t fall for it. Trust me.
  5. Measure your trust in teaspoons.
  6. Join a sport just to see if you make it. You can find some of your best friends on a team (like cross-country!).
  7. Move off campus for a year, but do NOT sign any year-long contracts. Sometimes your friends (roommates) try to screw you over.
  8. Your roommates are all lesbians. They aren’t just having sleepovers in there.
  9. Don’t throw away Jenga. You will miss it, and it was supposed to be your best friend’s birthday present!
  10. Last of all, PLEASE have fun. And not the kind of fun that people tell you is fun–I’m sure most of the parties in town are just full of testosterone and they smell like feet.