him – A Poet's Pen

My favorite things

My favorite part of your body

Are your hands.

They feel like

Warmth

Sun

Light

And a little more

Ethereal to the touch

Than the rest of us.

*Inspired by Rupi Kaur

Waiting

Waiting for love is like

Waiting for warmth in December

Or for snow in the middle of summer–

It’s as consistent as the weather

And as simple as an atom,

Or a quiet explosion–

But I can’t seem to find it.

Converse Sneakers

He converses with me in his converse sneakers

And pulls me in with a silence that holds me up in his arms.

The sharp edges of his body match his intensity

And beat into me to bring my heart back to life again

From its long sleep.

You Found Me

My eyes hold the dark

Like an open tomb

My mouth cries out

For someone to look at me—

I hear the boards creak.

I feel the walls crack

As dust fills my nose

And the floors shake

Like an earthquake.

Light crawls through the spaces

And my body relaxes.

I am not alone in this darkness.

I see you standing beside the rubble

Looking at me,

Waiting with an open hand,

And I begin again.

I push my body through the pieces of concrete,

And reach.

Your eyes found me.

Your hands took mine,

And we left this place.

This place of dry bones and fallen things.

This is Not a Black and White Story

I am scared of a lot of things.

I’m scared of ISIS, terrorism, disease, and people hiding in the dark, waiting for people like me. I am scared of him. I am scared of being alone, and having no one to go to. I am scared of disappointing my parents, getting pregnant before I get married, and not making it into grad school. I am scared of school. I am scared of losing everything, and dying before I get the chance to live,

But I love running outside in my bare feet, and making up words to songs. I love driving when everyone else is sleeping, and pretending like I am the only person left in a small country town with a name no one seems to remember. I love talking about nonsensical things with friends, and drinking underneath the stars that fall along the river.

My fears will not stop me from walking outside, and breathing in freshly cut grass, or the crisp mornings lining my windows. My fears will never leave me, but my love for life, and for people, will fuel enough excitement and energy to search for more.

More than black and white, and more than memories left behind in pictures.

I am writing this blog so I can continue to move past the darkness pressing into my sides, cutting into my lungs, while I look into my past. I want to breathe again, but first–I need to start from the beginning. Or maybe from the middle.

This is me.