I feel a loss— But loss sounds a lot like lack. Lack of security Lack of confidence in my identity And lack of consistent thinking, Because I am losing a sense of self By searching for belonging in someone else. Loss sounds a lot like help. I want someone or something to help me find… Continue reading Loss
When I am around you, I feel lost. Maybe it’s because of the thoughts I have That drown out what is real, And what is not-- Maybe it's my mouth replacing the air with water, Heavy in my lungs-- I'm afraid of what will come up Once I try to connect the words in… Continue reading Misscommunication
Sometimes I smile out of habit. I don’t notice when it’s dishonest, Because I’m so used to convincing myself it’s true. You can fake it so much that it turns into your reality, Even when you are pretending. But sometimes pretending seems more familiar to me than reality. I continue repeating and hearing… Continue reading Don’t Leave Me in the Dark
I need time to breathe Or to time my breaths By 1...2...3 But the counting creates a mood of apathy and emptiness Like I can’t stay awake like this— And I’ve missed the reason For methodically breathing In and out. It’s broken down for peace, Not destructive thoughts That beat up my heart,… Continue reading 1 2 3
I need to choose who I spend my time with wisely. Time spent thinking, Reliving, Talking— I need to not waste time on the negative memories, Thoughts, Words, People, Past hurts, Because I deserve To enjoy the time I have on this earth, I will continue the search for My wise mind, And… Continue reading Wise Mind
I feel weight on my body, But my mind is awake and waiting. I feel hope. Small, but it grows and makes each step lighter— Like I’m lighting a fire And searching for the spark that’s starts a flame— I will wait. I don’t want to sink into this feeling I have… Continue reading People Need a Melody
I feel space. Space between my hands, space beneath my chest, and space inside my head. I feel blank. Like my universe is a piece of work that has been left dead for years. Why am I here? --April 18th They brought me to a sanitized room devoid of any color or life. Empty walls… Continue reading Day One.
I am a mess. My mind stops working and my words start falling Out of my mouth like the clumsy ramblings Of a middle school girl who doesn't know How to talk to boys yet. I feel the corners of my mouth move involuntarily When I look at you and see you smile.… Continue reading Messy